A couple of years ago, I went through a terrible time in my life. Plain and simple, I lost two family members within six months of each other. I always thought I was a strong person, having been a single mama with a sweet little girl, working hard to get somewhere, I thought I could handle most anything. Wrong. Sometimes life grabs you by the collar and shakes you, and needless to say, I was shaken to my core. I found out if you don’t deal with the many things that happen in life, they bubble up to the surface and then have to be dealt with. So all the neatly filed things that was evidence of my zoning out, began to fly out at me like a crazy scene in Alice In Wonderland.
My therapist recommended I do something that I loved to do as a child, to help heal that little child. I decided to paint, and paint I did. I painted memories of growing up in a small town, angels drifted in and out of my paintings, along with mermaids and beach scenes. Anything to bring me peace. The peace came, and I found out more about myself in this creative outlet than I had ever even dreamed of. It has been a magical, healing, outlet for me and I am still painting away!
I kept noticing that I put pink houses in my paintings, with shutters. Not even realizing why, I just noticed and filed away. One day I went back home to my small hometown to visit my grandmother. We spent the remaining few years she was alive getting to know each other better, listening to her wonderful family stories, grieving together the loss of my mother and my brother, loving each other. I walked a few hundred feet to the old house where my grandmother was raised. It just reverberated with old family get togethers, much love and sadness, still just a beautiful old house. And it was pink. I realized I had been painting this old house over and over again in my healing process. I was dumbfounded. It all came back to family, and love, and life and living. I smiled as I headed back to my grandmother’s house. I felt like I had connected a few more dots in my life and it felt really good. I am connected to this place, this town, my roots are here.
My grandmother passed away a few years ago, I smiled when I thought of her rejoining all those loved ones that had gone on before her. So thankful for the time that I had with her, the God breezes I experienced when I decided to be open to the hurt and love that happens in life. Connecting and reconciling , being present in my life, and learning to just be…… has been the greatest journey of my life. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day and God’s blessings to you! Suz